The Sensual Cellular Similarity
by DesertDragon
Summary: A sexy, accidental text becomes the cause of some unaccountable behavior. Penny/Sheldon, all characters. Rated PG-13 The M rating is for Ch. 2 only.
1. Chapter 1: Confusion

Title: **"The Sensual Cellular Similarity"** (1/?)  
Author: Misty / DesertDragon  
Spoilers: none. post-all aired episodes.  
Rating: PG-13 for now / Humor, Fluff, UST  
Word count: 1016  
Disclaimer: I do not own, no infringement intended.  
A/N: Normally I would know exactly how many chapters ahead of time, but I don't yet. Suggestions welcome.  
Summary: **A sexy, accidental text becomes the cause of some unaccountable behavior**.

*Chapter One: Confusion*

Penny could not explain the origins of her attraction to Sean, the young man sitting across from her. She gazed across the table at him as he studied the Kaya Restaurant Sushi menu. They had met at a friend's wedding back in January and began dating casually. But he wasn't her usual type of guy.

He was tall and slim. Dark hair. Deep-set eyes. Unremarkable features. He designed software for a company in Pasadena, so he was fairly bright. She supposed that it was nice to have the interest of someone smart without having to prove herself(i.e. Leonard.) He had a relaxed smile and they were more than compatible in the bedroom, which surprised her because outside the intimate times he seemed oddly distant in demeanor. And they didn't have many interests in common. He was just …

… ordinary. She reasoned that he would have never fallen onto her radar if she hadn't been one Cuba Libre past tipsy at that wedding reception. Or so she told herself.

What else could it be?? She chewed gently on her lower lip and continued to ponder the mystery further as she watched him. It made her head ache. It was like having someone shouting at you from behind a heavy pane of glass and not being able to hear them.

As Sheldon would say, it was a conundrum.

*

That date was three days ago. With a well-earned day off from the Cheesecake Factory, she had free time to stop and realize that she had not heard a peep from Sean. Hmmm. Odd. The end of the evening had gone well to her recollection. She had given up trying to solve the mysteries of the universe; they had a nice romp in the hay, then a brief kiss goodnight before he was out her front door.

She decided to send a text his way and put her feelers out. In fact, she was feeling slightly frisky and brave and thought that a snapshot with a bit of teasing nudity couldn't hurt. After all, it was one thing for a dipshit, married man to take naked photos of you with his phone, and quite another to do it yourself. In fact, it was somewhat empowering. She smirked as she stripped down and tried to maneuver herself into a suggestive position. Poor, Sean. He might blow a few brain circuits over this.

She finally managed to take a decent one, a little dirty, but acceptable. Nothing he hadn't already seen. She added a little note: "Until your arms are around me again, wrap those high IQ points around this ;)", and hit send.

*

Sheldon found the impromptu meeting with Gablehauser and a number of his colleagues tedious beyond description. It was wreaking havoc on his carefully planned work day schedule. All it consisted of was his superior droning on and on about a conference which was to take place in March. He so desired for them all to leave him in peace so that he could to return to his office and more important academia.

Suddenly the theme from Star Trek interrupted Gablehauser's monotonous tone. They all turned to stare at Sheldon.

"Dr. Cooper..."

Sheldon mumbled a curt apology and silenced his cell phone without a glance at it.

A minute later the annoying little device continued to vibrate in his pants pocket, begging for him to answer the ignored text.

Unnoticed by the others in the room, he reached in and drew it out. The tiny screen read: PENNY. Dammit, Penny. What fresh hell was this...

He had no idea what on Earth had prompted him to open it.

"Eep!"

His distressed squeak quieted the room once again.

"Is there something wrong, Dr. Cooper?" asked a disgruntled Dr. Gablehauser.

After an anxious and flustered, "Excuse me," Sheldon found himself stumbling out into a thankfully-vacant hallway, his large brain filling with perplexity and pressure.

He had barely glanced at the racy photo before his panic attack. He needed to find a safe spot to examine the evidence more thoroughly and formulate inconclusively what the hell all this was about.

He opened a door. Nope, custodial closet. He kept going, disoriented. Ah here it was; the safety of his office. He locked the door and shut the blinds. A deep breath followed.

This was absurd. He did not see what he thought he saw. He managed to talk himself down enough so that the facial ticks dissipated. He flipped open his phone.

His jaw began to twitch uncontrollably.

Yep. It was a naked photo of Penny. Seemingly self-taken by the absurd angle. It possessed that grainy picture-by-phone quality. But every miniscule detail was crystal clear to Sheldon.

The dilated eyes, the moist lips, and graceful fingers that cupped a very naked, very ample breast, the arch of her back, the tilt of her pelvis, the curve of her inner...

Sheldon's mouth went dry. But that wasn't the most revealing point in his evaluation. It was the words that followed.

//Until your arms are around me again, wrap those high IQ points around this ;) //

As he read those words for the first time, numbness and confusion set in. Then, after an eternity, he came to (what he rationalized as) a valid hypothesis.

This text could not be mistaken. It was meant for him. Evidence: the lengthy hug at Christmas; his substantial Intelligence Quotient. He had obviously made quite an impression in order for her to harbor such a brazen attraction to him.

He pushed the phone far away from him on his desk and crunched himself into his chair, attempting not to look at it. He couldn't get comfortable. His legs were operating apart from his central nervous system, crossing and uncrossing. His hands were nervous and clammy at his brow.

He tried staring at his white board for a bit of intellectual relief.

However, this did absolutely nothing to calm his equilibrium. He had no idea on how to proceed. What was the social protocol for when he saw her again?

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2: Conundrum

Title: "The Sensual Cellular Similarity" (2/5)  
Author: Misty /DesertDragon

*Chapter Two: Conundrum*

Howard and Raj were making their way up to the landing of apartments 4A and 4B when something tall and gangly in a red Flash t-shirt whizzed by them in the opposite direction and disappeared.

They blinked at each other in incomprehension; either that was Sheldon moving faster than they had ever seen him... or there was a superhero was in the building.

They received their answer when they were met by Penny in the hallway who was looking rather bewildered, standing there in her open doorway.

"What was that about?" Howard asked, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

Penny shrugged her shoulders in exasperation. "Have no idea. I was just coming out to get my mail at the same time he opened his door ... then he took off like his ass was on fire. That's the second time that's happened this evening. He won't even look at me, much less talk to me."

Howard and Raj exchanged a glance, which made her fidget all the more.

"What? You know something I don't?"

"Uh...I wouldn't worry about it," Howard said after a moment. "That boy moves in unpredictable patterns when his routine has been upset. One of the many mysteries of Sheldon. In fact, at work today, there was a rumor about some Sheldon-related mishap, or what-not... So I wouldn't take it personally."

After a moment, Penny nodded absently, as if this made some small amount of sense, and she returned to her apartment and shut the door.

The second the door was closed, Howard and Raj raced into 4A to find Leonard.

*

They found Leonard in the kitchen hovering over a fresh pizza from Giacamo's. Without preamble, Howard tapped his fingers on the counter top and gave Leonard a calculated stare.

"So, what's up with your roommate?"

"Huh?"

"Dude, it's all over work. Something happened during a meeting with Gablehauser," Raj took a slice of pizza, regretfully picking off the pepperoni.

Leonard's brow furrowed as he glanced between the two of them. This was news to him. "Like what?" he asked, slowly.

"We're not sure. All we've been able to deduce from the rumors is that Sheldon freaked out in a meeting and hid in his office the rest of the day. We tried to corner him, but he seemed to dematerialize out of his office."

"I gave him a ride," Leonard conceded, shrugging them off. "Besides, that doesn't mean anything; he freaks out at work every other day."

"Be that as it may, the little display of unseemly behavior that we just witnessed in the hall involving said-physicist and your lovely, fair neighbor would prove otherwise."

Raj nodded. "The plot thickens."

Leonard put down his pizza. "Penny? What about her? All I did was suggest that he go over there and invite her for dinner... What did he do?"

"Ran like a little girl. Apparently, he's avoiding her like the plague."

"Yeah. If I'd had any of that experimental pharmaceutical left, I'd offer him some," Raj smiled.

"What?" Leonard's voice cracked in disbelief. "Why?"

Howard shrugged. "Is it possible that the incident at work is related?"

Raj raised an eyebrow in agreement.

But before anyone could postulate further, Sheldon walked into the apartment, strictly avoiding eye contact. He strode straight to the cupboard and grabbed a plate and a glass. He filled the glass with milk. He chose a careful selection of pizza slices from the Giacamo box and put them on his plate. Then he headed toward his bedroom.

"Sheldon." Leonard's voice did nothing to stop him. "Sheldon. What's going on?"

Sheldon's reply could be heard from the back hallway. "I have work to do," was all he said, and then a door slammed shut.

Leonard, Howard and Raj were left to share a series of furrowed glances.

"In his bedroom?"

*

The cellular structure that made up Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D. warred with itself as it tried to determine how to proceed with Penny and her disturbing text. His research was not progressing as he'd hoped. The social sciences were ridiculous.

Google: _flirting and how to avoid it_

Nothing useful.

Google: _how to suppress pheromone secretion _

Ultimately impossible.

Even locked in his room, typing away on his laptop was not enough to avoid distraction.

He had the urge to grab his phone and delete the racy photo several times. But that would mean he'd have to look at it again.

He already had the text part of the message memorized.

_'Until your arms are around me again....'_

Good lord, what had he done?

Until he received that text, he had not observed any changes in her attitude toward him. Then again, he was not exactly well-versed in social behavior. If there was anything he must admit to failing at ...

On a dare, he opened his phone again. He groaned outwardly almost immediately, shutting his eyes and pushing the phone toward the plate of uneaten pizza. He hadn't been able to touch it; his stomach was performing cartwheels of stress. He reached for his glass of milk instead. Milk calmed him down.

Then he went back to his research.

But after staring at a video on Discovery's website that documented the effects of bare female skin on a males testosterone level, Sheldon had nearly reached his limit on inconsequential data. He was about to abandon this futile line of social 'fieldwork' in favor of quantum mechanics and a white board, when, out of shear frustration, he typed in 'science of flirtation' and hit I'M FEELING LUCKY. A somewhat interesting article from Psychology Today popped up, subtitled: The capacity of men and women to flirt turns out to be a remarkable set of behaviors embedded deep in our psyches.

He was not sure of the qualification of this Ms. Rodgers who wrote the paper, so he scanned the pages quickly, finding interesting - and disturbing - bits here and there.

_"...flirting is nature's solution to the problem every creature faces in a world full of potential mates - how to choose the right one.... Two people have to share with each other the information that they are attracted, and then test each other on an array of attributes. Simply announcing, 'I'm attracted to you, are you attracted to me?' doesn't work so well. It works much better to reveal this and have it revealed to you in smaller doses."_

Small doses? What kind of hell would Penny try to spring on him next? Sheldon shivered and continued reading.

_"It is an axiom of science that traits and behaviors crucial to survival require, and get, a lot of an animal's resources. All mammals and most animals (including birds, fish, even fruit flies) engage in complicated and energy-intensive plots and plans for attracting others to the business of sex. That is, they flirt."_

And there is was; an extremely, rational reason not to engage in such acts. Its requires time and valuable intellectual resources and energy that could be used for more successful endeavors. Hence the reason why he would not partake in such balderdash. He would just have to discover other ways for his DNA to survive, at least until he won the Noble.

And he would just have to find a way to reject Penny. It was that simple.

He shut off the laptop and his desk lamp, and prepared for bed.

But as he finished dressing in his Thursday pajamas and pulled back his covers, he found himself casting a wistful glance back at the cell phone on his desk. Something curled and tightened deep within his chest, and he tried to ignore the ache there that told him that, in no certain terms, would it be that simple.

*

It was late in the evening, but he could not be sure of the time. He sat on her couch, watching her move about her apartment, adjusting clothes and objects in the room without rhyme or reason. Although she did not directly look his way, she spoke to him in a warm voice, occasionally trying to entice him into conversation.

He had no idea what she was saying or asking of him. Inexplicably, he was nervous. He watched her lips move, but his ears would not register the sound of her voice. She could have been speaking of the weather for all he knew. Nevertheless, she was like a puzzle that his brain ached to solve. If she were in fact paying attention to him, she would see a look of utter concentration on his face.

Then she began to do something that made his heart stop in fear.

She began taking off her clothes - little by little, inch by inch - walking back and forth in front of him, completely unaware of the affect of her bare skin.

It was not a striptease of any sort, as he understood it. It was almost as if she were removing her clothes after a long day at work and scattering them about – is this why her apartment was a consistent mess and strewn with clothing? Because she privately existed in a regular state of un-dress?

As unnerving as this hypothesis was, it did nothing to stabilize the current titling of his equilibrium. 'Please, Vertigo," he thought, "not now!"

He tried desperately to keep his gaze on anything but her: the rug, the ceiling, the fabric on the arm of the sofa. However, this was increasingly hard to accomplish now that she was standing right in front of his knees, quiet now, and staring at him intently.

His eyes traveled over the black lace bra down to a matching pair of panties that rode low on her hips and back up. How had he never observed how long and elegant her torso was? He nervously licked his lips, too late to comprehend that she immediately took that as an invitation.

She ran her thumbs over her hips and slipped out of her panties in one simple, deft movement.

The action rocked him out of his stupor and he stood up in protest, only to find himself pressed fully against her. Her hands found his torso and began to pushed him back into his seat, her eyes on him determined and dilated.

He found his voice, and it was angry. "Penny! I hardly think-"

Her lips closed over his as she slipped into his lap, and his brain went hot and fuzzy. He knew that it was preposterous to be embarrassed over an erection, so he wasn't. Nevertheless, he had no idea what to do with his hands. They hovered in the air around her, making him feel foolish. He was noticing more and more that she elicited that response from him. Her mouth was warm and wet, and had started to trail down his throat with a soft moan. She shifted until her bare bottom was sitting on his knees, and she pulled back just enough so that they shared a long, darkened gaze before she dipped her slender fingers into his unzipped khakis and cupped him firmly over his briefs.

He had time to hiss in a desperate breath before she was kissing him again - he marveled over the fact that he had missed her mouth in such a short absence - and this time his hands found themselves buried in her long blonde hair. He was not an expert on returning her kisses, but he was trying, God help him. It was a miracle that he knew how to think with his penis at all...

...Especially when her clever hand had now found it's way beneath his underwear, over the nest of hair and had a full grip on the wet tip of him. He grunted into her mouth, and she whispered his name as if she were demanding something from him.

"Sheldon."

Then she was sliding next to him on the couch, pulling him between her legs and down on top of her, urging her pelvis up and into his.

She looked up at him expectantly, but he was at a loss. He was in a daze and all he wanted - even more so than this physical intimacy she was thrusting upon him - was pure validation. Funny, he didn't seem to need it from anyone else. Just her.

But so far none was forthcoming. Just her urgent questioning gaze that asked plainly, 'Do you know what you're doing?' It scared him to death. He knew the technical aspects, of course, but not the practice, not even when the tip of him was nearly inside her.

"Come on, Sheldon."

His spine tingled with the intimidation in her voice. "Penny," he choked.

She thrust up impatiently -

*

"Danger, Danger!"

Sheldon sat up in bed, sweating. He waited for his jaw to stop twitching and for his eyes to adjust to the dark of his bedroom. Just a dream.

He lifted the covers. A wet dream. So much for his Thursday pajamas. Damn Penny and that text.

...Penny. As he recalled the dream in all its vivid detail, his heart plummeted. Hopefully by tomorrow the images would fade from his mind and the sting to his ego would be forgotten with the indulgence of work.

For now, he felt diseased. He blamed it on spending too much time around his roomate. Over developed sex drive = lack of focus.

He changed out of his pajama bottoms and tried to force himself back to sleep, despite the voice in his head - normally so self-apraising - telling him over and over that he was, indeed, ill-equipped to solve this problem.

*

A day and a half later, there were three knocks on Penny's door. She glanced up from her computer, expectantly, where she was paying bills. She hadn't seen Sheldon since the incident in the hallway, and her curiosity was heightened.

She hastened to open it before she realized that she had not heard his voice calling her name from the other side, as per his usual.

Leonard was there, holding her mail.

"Oh, hi, Leonard."

"Hey, Penny." He fidgeted for a moment before before asking, "Can I come in?"

"Sure. What's up?" She moved back into her apartment, taking her mail and sitting back at her laptop.

"Something weird is going on next door."

"You mean weirder than usual?" she smiled.

"Um...Well. Here's the thing. I've barely seen Sheldon come out of his room these past couple of days, except to eat and shower, and even then he hardly says two words to me. He hasn't gone to work. Frankly, I am starting to get a little worried... I was wondering if you might have a clue?"

She blinked at him for several moments, her protective instincts kicking in. It wasn't like any of the guys to get worried over Sheldon. In fact, the more she paid attention and became closer to their small group, the more she discovered that Leonard, Howard and Raj offered little emotional or moral support to Sheldon when he actually needed it. Sure, he was difficult beyond measure and was used to getting his way far too often. But she also thought the guys took him for granted or were often indifferent to him all-together. Like the boy who cried wolf. Or in Sheldon's case, the boy who cried bacterium.

Yet here Leonard was, genuinely worried from the look of it.

"No," she said carefully. "Why would I have any idea?"

Leonard shrugged. "I am grasping at straws here. Maybe it has something to do with Gablehauser, our boss. I don't know."

Penny chewed on her lip quietly and considered last Thursday. Sheldon _had_ been acting rather goofy... even for him.

After they could come up with no explanation between the two of them, and Leonard left, she was still stewing on it, her bills set aside.

Could she have offended him somehow? Normally this would not bother her; sometimes she reveled in it. But what if his feelings were honestly hurt and she was the cause. What if going over there and apologizing, whether it was called for or not, would solve this little dilemma?

Penny and her good intentions made it as far as her front door when her phone chimed in her hoodie pocket. It was Sean, asking her if she were free for a date tonight.

She smiled smugly, dancing in place briefly before accepting his invitation. Huh, her naked text worked!

*

Sheldon glanced at the clock. Seven-thirty, Saturday night. Almost Laundry Time. Best to get this business concerning Penny out of the way, so he could continue with his life.

He had a rejection speech prepared and memorized.

After analyzing it a bit more, he roughly came to grips with the uncomfortable notion that he could not deal with the social aspects of this incident, or its sexual or emotional repercussions. He could only deal with the situation on the utmost technical terms.

He glanced down at the index cards on his dresser. They were filled with his tiny printing which consisted of research and his reasons for the rejection. A long finger moved them about absently. Anxiously.

He liked Penny. He really did.

But he hated the increasing feelings of insecurity he felt when he was around her even more. And that had to stop, Penny's feelings be damned.

He straightened his t-shirt and moved determinately out into the living room, his lips silently rehearsing the words he would say to her.

He yanked the front door open, and the pre-mature monologue suffered a slow death at the sight before him.

He found Penny there in the hall talking animately with Leonard, Howard, Raj and a fourth, well-dressed man that he did not know. He was tall and lanky, with short dark hair. And she was holding his hand. And standing very close to him. She wore an appealing green dress and her hair was curled and pulled up off her bare shoulders. She held a jacket and purse under one arm.

Unless his formidable powers of observation were failing him, he could only deduce that she this man was her date for the evening.

Huh... That realization should have relived some of the pressure off of him. Instead, this was all unaccountably distressing. Maybe because now he would not have the opportunity to spout all the words he was holding in his head?

She had been introducing his friends to this man when she stopped and noticed him for the first time. Was that relief on her face?

"Sheldon. There you are." All faces turned to him at once. He ignored their looks of confusion. "I'd like you to meet Sean. Sean, this is Sheldon."

"Hello," Sheldon obliged, trying to offer a friendly, sociable smile.

Although it seemed to go unnoticed by the others, Sean's response was less than warm. No responding hello, just a curt nod.

Sheldon began to fidget.

*

Leonard glanced from Sheldon to Penny and back again. Okay. This was weird.

Sheldon was looking extremely uncomfortable, like he hadn't had enough fiber with his cereal this morning.

Penny, on the other hand, appeared genuinely concerned as she watched Sheldon. But that was short-lived and she seemed to shrug it off in favor of paying attention to her date...

Her date, Sean. Tall, thin, dark haired, pale Sean.

He could see it on Raj's face, and Howard's as well: the complete baffling debacle of it. But Penny didn't have a clue.

She was dating 'Sheldon'.

*

_to be continued_

.


	3. Chapter 3: Clueless

Title: "The Sensual Cellular Similarity" (3/5)

Chapter 3

'Clueless'

* * *

Once Penny left with her date, Leonard, Howard and Raj retreated back into apartment 4A to find Sheldon staring quietly into the open refrigerator. From the zombie look on his face, he was either disagreeing with their feeble dinner selection from Soup Plantation (which they had failed to consult with him on ahead of time), or he was contemplating ritual Seppuku.

Leonard couldn't tell which.

No one spoke a word until Howard finally closed the front door behind him.

"What the frak was that!?"

"It was like a scene from _Invasion of the Body Snatchers_," Raj replied, disturbed.

"Yeah, only Sheldon's pod person was well-dressed and had found himself a hot date."

Sheldon furrowed his brow at the mention of his name and then continued to ignore them.

Leonard stood there studying his roommate, who seemed to be slowly returning to his old, finicky self, that familiar air of disinterest floating about his big head.

"Sheldon. Care to comment on what just happened?"

Sheldon glanced up at Leonard from a carton of soup he was sniffing, openly curious that he had missed something. "What just happened?"

"You honestly didn't see it? You, Mr. Power of Observation??"

"See what?" Sheldon's voice cracked.

Leonard stood there squinting through his glasses, open-mouthed and speechless. Howard moved forward, exasperated. "Penny's date, you nut-job! He happen to look familiar to you?"

Sheldon arched an eyebrow in annoyance. "Should he? I've never met the man before." And he went back to his soup.

There was an irritated pause and a collective breath was sucked out of the room all at once:

"SHEL-DON!" the three of them chorused.

"WHAT!?"

Leonard inched toward the island table in the kitchen that Sheldon was perched at, careful not to spook him. "I know you think you're one of a kind - in fact, we are all in agreement on that - but, here's the thing. I don't know what kind of cosmic anomaly is at work here, but that guy - Sean - bares an uncanny resemblance to you."

Sheldon cocked his head to one side as if to dislodge an errant calculation that was going on in there. "That's absolutely ridiculous," he whined. "He looks nothing like me."

This time Raj stepped up and reiterated with a pointed finger, making Sheldon back up. "He does, Sheldon. Face it. It's a freaky-ass abomination. And what's worse is that Penny is dating it...You! She's dating _you_. Think about it, Dude."

Leonard saw Sheldon's eyes cloud just a bit at the implications. He appeared to be warring with something hidden, like he had for the past two days, but then he recovered himself just as quickly. He braced himself and stared back at them cooly. "That's insane on the face of it."

And he strode off, determinately.

"Where are you going?" Leonard complained.

"It's laundry night, Leonard. I have to prepare my washables."

"Let him go," Howard muttered, when Sheldon was out of ear shot. "He needs to tighten those loose bolts of his."

"Or call the mother ship for guidance," Raj interjected.

The three of them settled in their usual spots in the living room and postulated.

"So... Do you think she knows?" Raj asked, breaking the silence.

"No," Leonard said, hopefully. "It's probably just a coincidence."

"Yeah," Howard replied, looking sickened. "A really whacked-out, unearthly coincidence... Tell me. What the hell does this mean for us? At the very least, Penny seems to be dating someone close to our own kind."

"Correction," Raj said. "Sheldon's kind."

Howard chose to ignore that factor. A look overcame him that resembled the eager hopefulness of a degenerate that has found some free porn on a previously blocked cable t.v. station. He rubbed his own chest appreciatively and smiled to himself. "We must finally be breaking her down."

Or maybe one of them had, Leonard thought, casting a glance back toward Sheldon's room. Either way, this did not solve the mystery of the incident at work or his earlier avoidance of Penny. He would wait until his friends had gone before confronting Sheldon on his own.

*

Penny's date with Sean had taken a swift turn toward the murky regions of hell early on in the evening and she was confounded as to why. It seemed to originate after she introduced him to her neighbors, who were perfectly polite with him. He hadn't said anything on the walk down to his car. He hadn't told her she looked nice, or complimented her on her new dress, nor had he bothered to open the passenger side door for her or kiss her hello, all of which he normally did. He was typically a quiet guy; always a bit distant. But tonight, his demeanor was down-right frigid. And it seemed to be all directed at her.

She had agreed to let him drive her out to the Pacific Palisades for dinner and music in the Village, which initially sounded wonderful when he first proposed it. But if the night did not start looking up soon, she knew she did not have enough cash in her purse for a cab to haul her ass all the way back to Pasadena. So, until she figured it out, she had to grin and bare it.

Never one to walk on eggshells around any guy (their egos be damned!), she reined in her temper this one time, leaned forward and turned up the radio to keep herself from saying something she'd regret so early in the evening. He didn't seem to mind.

The restaurant was large and beautiful, the atmosphere dark and inviting, and the scent of the ocean floated in off of Santa Monica Bay. It seemed to relax them both as a hostess showed them to a table a level up from the main floor that looked over a stage and dance floor.

"This is really nice, Sean. Thank you for thinking of it." Kill 'em with kindness, she thought, and flashed him her gentlest smile.

The smiled that was returned seemed genuine in it's prefatory stages, as did his gaze upon her.

"Sure," he replied. Then, slowly, the cold and bleak forecast of his superior attitude slipped back into place. Christ, what was his problem tonight? She rolled her eyes as he looked away from her, and she tossed her purse on the table in partial resignation, hoping beyond hope and the waitress would be by any minute to take their drink order.

This seemed to take forever despite that the restaurant was very well staffed for a Saturday night. Even so, Penny was not prepared for the wrath that awaited their poor waitress, Susan, when she finally made an appearance.

Sean was more than annoyed with the girl; he was brutal.

Boy, you think you know someone until you see the extent of their temper. And Sean had a mean streak a mile wide. Penny sat mortified until the words 'stupid' and 'asinine' came up and she tried to stop the onslaught. She hated when customers bullied waitress, being one herself, and this was getting ugly.

"Sean!"

He held a hand up to silence her. That was _really_ the wrong thing to do. The blood rushing in her ears was all she could hear, she was so furious. In a haze she saw him dismiss the waitress and request someone more 'competent, if that were possible', leaving them in a wretched silence.

Eventually, he had the decency to look uncomfortable and nervous under her livid gaze, and he was reduced to staring at the menu. But it was official: Sean was a dick.

What the hell was wrong with him? He was normally so sweet and nice. This was an utter stranger sitting across from her. What in damnation had she seen in this tall, arrogant bean-pole to begin with?

Her answer came in the form of the house manager, who had materialized to take their drink orders himself, an excellent mask of professionalism hiding his annoyance with her date. "I apologize for the delay. Can I get you something complementary from our full bar?"

Sean did not hesitate. "I'd like a Virgin Diet Cuba Libre... in a tall glass, if you please, with a lime wedge."

The known universe dropped out from under Penny in a hurried rush, sucking all of her fire and brimstone with it. Her eyes teared up slightly in shock and revelation; they traveled up Sean's long, elegant fingers and forearms to his pale face, hooded eyes, high forehead and dark, short-cut hair.

Holy shit.

"Miss? Your order?"

After a moment, Penny found her tongue, never taking her eyes from the impostor sitting across the table from her... who, for all intent and purposes, appeared to be a tainted version of Dr. Sheldon Cooper; PhD, neighbor, genius savant and friend.

"Whiskey," she whispered in reply, jerking her thumb. "Straight up."

*

As per his usual, Sheldon pre-separated all his whites and colors before coming down to the laundry room. He was pleased to see that his preferred machines, numbered seven and eight, were free and in went his whites first. He turned the dial to 'small load' - it was just his undershirts, underwear and socks - and turned to focus on all of his colored t-shirts. He soon became absorbed in carefully turning them inside-out so as to better protect the graphics on their fronts, and his mind began to tumble, lost in thought.

Were his friends certifiably insane? Simply suggesting that Penny's date resembled him was flat-out absurd. And then to further imply that - by that factor alone - it must quote 'mean something'.

Good grief. Mean what, pray tell? That they all needed to have their brains scanned? (Most certainly.) That Penny had suddenly decided to search outside her own species for a viable, capable mate?

Unlikely. Just as with Penny's ill-conceived text, Sheldon found it highly improbable that she could ever be honestly attracted to someone like him, a self-proclaimed beta male. He had no qualms regarding this, nor did he view this with any amount of low self-esteem. It was all simply factual.

He chuckled about this aloud to himself, and proceeded to snap a wrinkled t-shirt. But the silence of the empty laundry room dampened his over-confidence and his thought processes immediately returned to Penny.

His feelings toward her were a mess of unscientific contradictions. He regarded her as far too beautiful and finicky to ever get successfully close to. But, on the other hand, he had found her consistently warm and accepting on many occasions. Comforting, even. In point of fact; their friendship appeared to be constantly changing and maturing over the past two years of knowing each other, much to his surprise. His daily social log could stand as a testament to that (if he, indeed, was deciphering it correctly).

Even so, there was no empirical evidence that suggested that she had formed any sort of romantic attachment: in fact the case against it had recently grown substantial. Evidence: Sean, Penny's date.

At last Sheldon began to feel a trickle of that relief he had been waiting for. It was weak, but it was there. He pulled out his phone and stared at the sparse list of texts that were saved to his cell phone; mostly just Cal-Tech alerts with Penny's text nustled right in the midst. Just an elementary mistake, he concluded.

His thumb hovered nervously over the delete button and the open button, undecided. All the proof was apparent, yet somewhere deep in his cerebral cortex swam a smidgen of doubt, and he was too engrossed in chasing it down to hear someone move up behind him.

*

Having been shocked into silence, Penny found herself enduring Sean's passive aggressive attempts at dinner conversation. He babbled on incessantly about work and computer programming, and she had no problem tuning him out to contemplate the paradox that was her love life. For as smart as he was, he seemed to be completely unaware that she had barely touched anything on her plate in favor of ordering a steady stream of Grasshoppers.

Maybe he was simply avoiding confrontation. She could sympathize. She could have just as easily walked out of the restaurant thirty minutes ago, but curiosity and surprise had kept her bottom in her seat and her mouth shut.

This was certainly different than her last date with Sean; instead of seeing a big question mark sitting across the table from her, she saw an image of Sheldon. She had recently come to realize that her taste in men must be changing, perhaps due in part to her new circle of cerebral pals. But, only now did she acknowledge the extent of it.

Actually, it was not so much 'acknowledge' as it was HIT HER LIKE A GODDAMN FREIGHT TRAIN RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES.

Because, seriously, this was Sheldon she was thinking about. Sheldon. Whom she had apparently been thinking about for quite some time, only her brain had been very cleverly disguising it all, laughing at her even. All that time spent together with Sheldon, doing the most trivial, repetitive things (particularly lately) had all just been building up and building up until... there was nowhere left to go. Supposedly just a dead end.

Hence, Sean. The intimacy substitute.

Penny took another long sip of her Grasshopper, looking at him hard and shaking her head. How could she be so blind? In all fairness, he was really nothing like Sheldon.

Okay, superficially, maybe. But look at that profile! Sean's nose was hard and curvy and Romanesque, not that nice, classical shape of Sheldon's. Sean's eyes were hazel, not blue. Sean was quiet, distant, dispassionate and guarded. Sheldon didn't know how to be any of those things; he felt no need to disguise who he was. A combination of innocence and ego wouldn't allow it.

Penny rolled the straw of her beverage gently between her teeth, smiling to herself.

She supposed that was why she loved him. It was illogical, wacky and most likely platonic. But there was no denying it; the crazy, searing sensation deep in her gut told her that over-analyzing, or running away from it, would be pointless. So she wouldn't.

She would just order another Grasshopper instead.

Amidst all this rumination, Penny realized that Sean had long stopped talking, their plates had been cleared, and a jazz band had taken up their instruments on the stage negating the need for further awkward conversation. This was favorable, because the more alcohol she consumed, the more blurry that line between Sean and Sheldon became. Platonic feelings or not, she was a sexual person by nature, and as the music slipped over her and the atmosphere became hazy her libido decided to pass a good amount of time by making up little fantasy scenarios all on its own. She found herself giggling along with them, only to turn around and suppress them out of shear absurdity.

Utterly distracted, she didn't see Sean eventually leave his chair and sneak up on her with an invitation to dance.

She smiled up at him, completely inebriated, opening her mouth before her head could clear.

"Sheldon, sweetie, you don't dance."

*

Leonard made his way down to the laundry room and found Sheldon hunched over his cell phone in a deadly stare-down.

"Sheldon."

No response.

"Sheldon?"

Nothing. Leonard edged closer and tapped him on the shoulder, unaware of the consequences.

The phone sprouted temporary wings and flew out of Sheldon's hands, who yelped and proceeded to perform what Leonard could only describe as a flamingo jogging through flaming tires.

Leonard, surprised by his own dexterity, bounced backward, away from Sheldon, and managed to catch the phone before it shattered on the cement floor.

"DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" Sheldon growled, finding his breath.

"Sorry, sorry! I called you; you didn't hear me. What were you loo-" Leonard's voice disappeared with a slight squeak as he glanced down at the open cell and the picture that was displayed there.

Penny. Naked.

Funny how his frontal lobe seemed to stopped working. Nothing in the known universe seemed to matter for the following prolonged seconds; not even the fact that the photo was on Sheldon's phone.

"Gah," was all that he managed at first until his pupils finally re-focused long enough to read the written text at the bottom. His head whipped up to gape incredulously at Sheldon who had just surmised what Leonard was staring at.

"Give me that!" If Sheldon was expecting a fight over the cellular device, he was mistaken. He snatched it back and clutched it to his chest, flipping it shut, now at a rare loss for words.

Was Dr. Sheldon Cooper actually embarrassed?

Leonard gave his head a good shake, which seemed to get things working again. "Sheldon... Was that why you've been behaving like a psychotic hermit the last several days? Over a text?" Even as he said it, he could picture Sheldon having received it during a meeting with Gablehauser, and choked back a pitying laugh; if it had been him, he, sadly, might have reacted the same way.

Sheldon didn't say anything at first and Leonard wondered how traumatized he really was. Then:

"That's absurd. It was just a blunder delivered by flawed technology." A pause, and then he turned the most distressing glance on Leonard before saying, "Right?"

"I am sure that's it, Sheldon," Leonard replied, recognizing that his friend needed some order restored to his universe. "You know how ... un-shy Penny is around her boyfriends. This was meant for Sean." He saw Sheldon look hard for any glint of sarcasm that might be alluding him, as always, and eventually come to the conclusion that this advice was acceptable.

Nodding, Sheldon stood up straight, with a bit of lackluster confidence, and said, "Exactly." He turned back to his laundry and his t-shirts, but not before Leonard heard a slightly defeated amendment. "I mean, it's the only logical and valid hypothesis."

*

"I'm sorry, Sean."

They were now in the restaurant parking lot, where she had reluctantly followed her very annoyed date. She didn't really understand why he was being such a baby; it was just a simple mistake. Although, having lost all of her attraction for Sean through out the course of the night, she did realize that her attempt at an apology had perhaps sounded a tad insincere. Well, what did he expect. She was tired and blitzed.

Sean turned and walked to her, standing close, but not looking her in the eye. He had his arms crossed defensively, but he nodded his head. At first, Penny thought he'd accepted her apology and they could thankfully go back inside, or to his car, out of the wind from the bay.

Instead, she heard him say, "I'm sorry, too. I should know better than to get involved with girls like you."

Penny blinked in shock, but her anger was swiftly returning, wrenching the cold from her body. "Excuse me?!"

"Penny, for Christ's sake, wake up. Are you really so blind?"

"What the hell are you talking about! All I did was call you-"

"Sheldon. Yes, I heard. Just as I heard last couple nights we stayed together."

She fell mute and a horrible guilty feeling overcame her. It felt as if she were being dragged off to court for a violent crime. Her voice, when she found it, came out weak and distant. "What?"

"In your sleep. You've been saying his name in your sleep."

Oh, christ.

Sean kicked at some loose gravel at his feet. "I didn't think anything of it at first. I wasn't going to say anything. Then I met your neighbors tonight, and …" His voice trailed off, mumbling about making him 'feel stupid'.

"It doesn't mean anything," she said defensively. "It's just a coincidence."

Even she didn't think she sounded convincing.

He shrugged, and looked away from her again, probably wishing this evening would just end, as she did.

"Sure," he said. "Whatever you need to tell yourself, Penny. Either way, it's not me that you want."

Ain't that the truth, she thought. She should have been pissed that she had to be the last one to realize this, but instead she turned to join him in gazing out toward the darkened bay. They seemed to shared a brief moment of mutual loneliness and acceptance. Then, she turned without a word, headed back into the restaurant, and called a cab.

*

Leonard stood in their building's foyer in his robe, staring out of the glass doors and into the night.

Penny had called him a little after one in the morning, asking if he would, please, wait for her with some cash to pay for a cab. She promised that she would pay him back, and that yes, despite a pounding headache, she was fine.

He met her at the sidewalk, paid her fare, and watched as she emerged from cab looking forlorn and already a little hung-over.

"Date didn't go too well, huh?" he smiled sympathetically.

She shook her head and pulled her jacket around her. "Nope," she mumbled, heading straight for the entrance at a tired pace. "He wasn't who I thought he was..."

Although he knew she was generalizing, Leonard paused in following her into the building as her last comment sunk in. He should just leave it alone, but curiosity and concern were killing him.

"So... that text you sent to Sheldon. It was just an accident, right?"

Before him, Penny visibly faltered, her hand on the glass doors. She turned to him slowly, her eyes scrunched up in sudden revelation, cursing the starry sky above her. He had a feeling that, even coming off of her inebriated state, she knew exactly which text he meant.

"Nooooo...No, No, No! Oh, my god, no!"

Leonard hesitated. "Uh, no?? It wasn't an accident?!"

"Yes! I mean, yes. That wasn't suppose to-" She stopped and stared at him in complete comprehension and helplessness, and kept stuttering. "So Sheldon got - I mean he saw...."

Leonard moved to her quickly, trying to calm her down before she woke the whole building. "Don't worry. I told him it was just a simple mistake! He knows." Her breathing finally slowed and a wave of exhaustion seemed to settle over her. Finally, she looked him in the eye.

"So. You saw it too, did you?" she deadpanned, a defeated smile twitching at the corner of her lips.

Leonard immediately flushed with embarrassment and he looked steadily at his feet. He was about to mumble a string of ridiculous apologies when he had the courage to look up at her again. She wasn't paying attention to him; she stared off, deep in thought, worried.

"He seems okay now," he confided in her. They both knew he was talking about Sheldon. "But, I think you need to talk to him. You know?"

She sighed and opened the glass door. "I know I do."

*

_to be continued_


	4. Chapter 4: Collision

Title: **"The Sensual Cellular Similarity"** (4/5)  
Author: Misty /DesertDragon **  
*Chapter 4: Collision*** Rated PG

Chapter 4

'Collision'  


* * *

Sunday morning dawned cold and sunny, and Penny awoke slightly thereafter, scents of bergamot tea and fresh laundry following her out of sleep. She'd been dreaming about Sheldon.

She raised her head and glanced at the clock: seven-twenty in the a.m.

She growled into her pillow, cuddled deeper into her comforter and tried to fall back to sleep. Two minutes later she realized it was futile and she sat up against her headboard. Her head was a bit watery, but there seemed to be no evidence to suggest a hangover. Just a heavy heart. Her chat with Leonard the night before must have sobered her up some.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stuck her bare feet into a pair of fuzzy Hello Kitty slippers. She didn't move much after that; just stared at her Razr on the night stand out of the corner of her eye. She flipped it open.

Sean's and Sheldon's names were right next to each other on her contact list. The text had been an innocent mistake. Leonard had concurred, and said that Sheldon had been pacified as well.

So why did she feel like she had just kicked a puppy? She deleted the text from her phone without looking at it; she had a feeling that it would make her spew in embarrassment. She could only imagine Sheldon's reaction.

She shivered slightly in her jammies and sighed. _You can't change your mind about going over there and talking to him, girl,_ she chided herself. _It's gotta be done, even if it's to simply apologize for your error of sluttiness..._

Penny chewed on her lower lip. Yes. That's all she really had to do; say she was sorry, make sure they were okay with each other, and be done with it.

This concrete idea propelled her into a warm shower followed by the solid notion that, in the light of day, she could not realistically see pursuing any of her fledgling feelings for Sheldon. She acknowledged them, and that was fine. But as far as she could see, their friendship would continue to be one long, platonic train ride with no deviation from the carefully laid track.

She slipped into a clean pair of flowery sweatpants and her corral-colored hoodie, and quickly dried her hair, leaving it loose. Before they had parted last night, Leonard told her that he would make himself scarce early this morning, and she was sure that they must already be up and about.

Her confidence accompanied her as far as the green door of apartment 4A, faltered slightly as she knocked, and then died away completely when Sheldon answered the door.

It was almost eight-thirty in the morning, yet he was still in his green and blue flannel robe and pajamas. His dark hair was tousled with bed-head, and his clear blue eyes were hooded and weary.

Penny hesitated, those fledgling feelings that had seemed so incidental in the shower began tickling at her nervous system. Damn. He looked wonderful. And human. And (as she swallowed a heartbeat) down-right intimidating standing there, looming over her from his doorway.

"Hey," she said.

"Hello, Penny." Pause.

"Can I come in?"

Another pause and he glanced behind him at his desk. "I was attempting to catch up on some work, but by the look on your face I can tell that will be futile." He moved aside to allow her entrance and picked up an empty teacup and saucer from his work station on his way to the kitchen. She followed him. "Tea?" he asked, impartially.

Penny didn't realize that she was wringing her hands. "Sure."

Why hadn't he said anything yet? She half expected him to begin chiding her for inappropriate behavior as soon as she walked through the door. She watched him striding back and forth in the kitchen, preparing the tea and avoiding eye contact.

Oh, boy. It was like ignoring a giant elephant standing in the room. Or maybe in Sheldon's case, a six-foot tall baby giraffe.

Penny sighed and took a deep breath. "Listen, Sheldon, about the text I sent you, um -"

He stared hard into the tea cups, possibly trying to get them to steep with his brain, and it forced her to stumble over what she wanted to say.

"- I didn't mean to send it to you. I mean-"

"Of course you didn't," he interrupted, his tone unidentifiable.

She paused, staying wary of his usual condescension. "Well... I didn't."

"Fine. And did you just arrive at this realization? Or have you and your new boyfriend been laughing about this over the last several days, enjoying some sort of sophomoric prank?" He turned away from her, forcefully pushing the lid of back on the loose leaf tea can.

If she had been more in control of herself she might have realized that he was simply speaking as a professional prank-ee. But she wasn't in control. She was pissed. She slammed her hands flat down on the island separating them, making him jump a little.

"Goddamn it, Sheldon Lee Cooper! How can you possibly think I am that shallow!?"

He was about to open his mouth and perhaps say something vindictive, she could tell, so she advanced on him swiftly.

Penny looked up at him, her hands fisted over her chest, pleading incredulously with him. "Do you honestly think I would ever do something that mean to you?" She knew deep down that it less about her being offended and more about feeling sincerely hurt.

He must have seen it on her face, or noticed her trembling, because a rare look of shame shadowed his features and his eyes began to bounce back and forth from the floor to the ceiling to the coffee pot and back again, licking his lips nervously. Finally, they settled on a spot on her hoodie.

"No," he admitted softly.

She threw her arms up the air in frustration and moved back toward the living room to keep herself from smacking him. "Then how can you even suggest that? Gah!"

Undeterred, he followed her, trying to regain his air of superiority, raising his voice to prove his point. "Yes. I suppose that's not really in question, is it. No, I think the far more important issue is why you feel the subversive need to be 'over-familiar' with men you barely know."

Ah. Here was the Sheldon she knew and loved. Before she turned and faced him, she stared up at the ceiling and counted to ten, during which the word 'prude' came to mind. She turned, brushed her hair back from her shoulder and crossed her arms. "Over-familiar?"

"Yes."

Penny smiled to herself as she studied him, her anger slowly dissipating. He wanted to fight, ached for it it seemed, if only to resolve any uncomfortable discussion between them. She doubted he was aware of this, but she liked that he was emerging out of that weird shell he had been hiding in for the past few days. It was easier to call each other names than to play nice.

"Hmm." She walked right up to him and narrowed her eyes in mock suspicion. "Maybe there's something else you'd like to call me, huh?"

He kept his jaw clenched, determined he could stare her down from those hooded eyes. Amateur.

"Tramp?" she suggested. His stony expression wavered. "Trollop?" His temple twitched. "Hussy?" She saw his pulse jump in his throat and she knew she'd broken him. "Slut?"

He lost his cool completely, babbling nervously. "God, Penny. No! No. I only meant to imply that... I mean, I meant to suggest that you should exercise..." He proceeded to over-corrected himself a number of times, prattling on in Sheldon-speak until she was able to gather that he was A.) embarrassed, and B.) initiating some strange sort of chivalry. Whatever he was trying to say, she had to calm him down.

Penny reached up quickly and gently cupped his face, from which he was too busy defending her honor to flinch away from. "Shhh, okay, okay. Sheldon, shhh, I got it." Once his lips stopped moving and his blue eyes re-focused on her upturned face, she gave him a long significant look, wanting to make sure that she got this right. "I'm sorry. It was a mistake, okay? And I am so sorry. That text was... sort of... meant for someone else. I just haven't been in my right mind lately. I never meant to make you uncomfortable." He had gotten so quiet during her apology that she cocked her head at him, hoping for an appeal. "Do you believe me? Are we... okay?"

He had moved his eyes away from hers, but nodded his head in agreement. Her hands fell away slowly, her gaze following them down to the crisp, white undershirt under his pajamas and she can see the tension melt from his shoulders in relief.

"Yes," he verbalized finally. "And I accept your offer of apology and recognize that this was a misunderstanding based on misguided use of a passive-aggressive digital medium, all of which was meant for another man."

"Thank you," she replied, twirling a strand of her hair around her finger in uncertainty.

He progressed back toward the kitchen. "Now we can return to a stable equilibrium and …" He slowly came to a stop. She was too distracted with her own thoughts to see him turn toward her, a look of clarity and suspicion crawling over his features. "Wait. Excuse me… 'Sort of'?"

"Huh?"

"The text was 'sort of' meant for someone else?"

She glanced carefully up at him towering over her. Those haphazardly perfect eyebrows of his were scrunched together in confusion.

A thousand natural, cheeky responses ran through Penny's mind, but she was unable to catch a single one. _Open your mouth and just say, 'Yes, it was.' Period._ Yet, her hesitation spoke volumes, at least to her. Was this the moment of truth? _No, no, it isn't. Keep your mouth shut, dummy. Don't stir the pot just to satisfy your impulsive curiosity! That's never a good thing when dealing with Sheldon._

Eventually, she managed a small shrug.

One of those eyebrows arched cryptically. "Penny..."

Damn. He had no idea, he really didn't. _Just try it and see what happens_, a little voiced whispered. She bounced on the balls of her feet briefly for confidence and raised her hands in truce, hoping to soften the blow. But all that would come out of her mouth was one of Leonard's favorite phrases.

"Here's the thing..."

And then she kissed him.

*

_Penny, what are you doing?!_

But, of course, it was an impractical impossibility to express his utter alarm at such a thing when Penny's lips were converging and crushing his own. He stood there, slack, while his brain ran a series of uncharted calculations. It took a moment before the large numbers dispersed and his mind happened on that familiar moment of clarity as he deciphered Penny's intentions.

_Oh, good lord_. A sudden, awkward blush ran through him and Sheldon felt his six foot tall frame ball up with nervous tension and worry, his shoulders scrunching up to ear level, his arms going rim-rod straight. His clenched knuckles dug into the hem of her hoodie and he could not assess if he was pushing her away or keeping her there. Then, amidst considering the variables of implementing his previously aborted rejection, he lost focus.

Her hair smelled clean and sweet like papaya and vanilla. It was exceedingly pleasant. He found himself closing his eyes. Interesting that this felt nothing like his Thursday night dream of her. Her lips were calming, not intrusive. Relaxing, he breathed into her and took a tentative step closer, curious. However, not a millisecond later, he found himself ill-prepared for her reaction.

Penny returned his sigh; this simple action alone was as chaste and discrete as the kiss she was bestowing. Yet, it did all manner of things to him. The amount of endorphins that burst into his bloodstream were overpowering, even painful, and he felt the apartment disappear from around them to be replaced by a blank-white space.

Like the Construct from _The Matrix._

The two of them seemed to exist in the weightlessness of theoretical bliss for a short, undetermined amount of time. And then Sheldon began to panic. He waited to see if the analytical part of his brain would load a program instructing him on how to proceed. What was he and Penny's mission in this place? And if such a program sprang into existence, rushing up from beneath their feet, would she disappear, leaving him partnerless?

Could he allow this kind of instability to take precedence in his daily life?

This was like discovering the quantum mechanics of the uncertainty principle all over again, or at least how Einstein had understood it. He could clearly see the equation aloft above their heads, with no resolution.

Sheldon convinced himself indefinitely that, unless Penny, herself, had inherent knowledge of relativistic methodology to rebuke this Uncertainty hypothesis (unlikely), he could envision nothing short of chaos ensuing.

These questions contained both wonderful and terrifying ramifications. All it took was her hand delicately clutching at the lapel of his robe to pull him closer to her and he was able to determine precisely which of those ideals would ultimately win out.

The terror did.

*

Sheldon was quick to disentangle himself from her, and Penny immediately missed his warmth as he took two clumsy steps backward, leaving her discombobulated.

She saw him fight wholeheartedly for impartiality before he could look her in the eye, and even then he began to stammer.

"Penny, I can't be doing this. I just ... can't."

She could see the outright fear in his eyes, as if his world had briefly collapsed like a set of Lincoln Logs and he was attempting to resurrect it with that big brain of his. She stared, confused, at his swollen, slightly wetted lips. _Oh, god. Oh, god, had she done that?_ She had to fix this.

"I know. I'm sorry. I - I ... I really didn't think that through. I-"

He interrupted her, obviously feeling the need to explain himself. "You see, in the Heisenberg Uncertainty principle there are no states that describe a particle with both a definite position and a definite momentum."

"...Huh?"

"They do not have a definite energy, and each time they decay -"

She held up a hand to silence him. She mustered all her bravery, if only to convince him that she felt a mutual wrongness about all of this. Christ. She was probably just trying to convince herself. She had known this wouldn't work. "You don't have to explain, Sheldon. Okay? I just... had a really bad night last night, that's all. I didn't mean for any... of it to leak over on you."

He seemed taken aback for a moment at her insistence; she couldn't tell if that was concern written on his face, relief... or pity. At least he didn't appear to be uncomfortable anymore.

"Let's just forget it, okay?" And she quietly added in her head, _so I can go submerse my shame in a vat of ice cream_.

Slowly, the suspicion melted away and he pushed himself up to his full six foot, two inch tall height with a sudo-professional air, seeming to find this acceptable. "Agreed."

All the tension whooshed out of Penny as if she had been exercised of some sort of demon.

"Good... So we're okay?"

Those blue eyes of his appeared overcast and a bit somber as he looked at her directly for a moment. Then he nodded politely, their hue warming. "Status quo."

*

It took a while to get back to status quo. Like the aftermath of a car crash, sometimes it took a bit of persuading to get back behind the wheel. Until then, you grasped onto the normalcy of everyday things and embraced complacency.

And once Penny learned to push her feelings aside as nothing more than a crush, it was much easier. This also helped bring on the realization that it wasn't Sean she should have been comparing Sheldon to all along; it was herself. They seemed to share a constant need of validation from each other, something Sheldon would never admit to in a million years, but she doubted that he was conscious of it. That would be her little secret.

Eventually the equilibrium between the two of them settled and she and Sheldon began to ease into their usual, habitual routine.

One Halo night, while they stood in the kitchen together as he poured the leftovers from Soup Plantation into re-sealable containers, he surprised her by bringing up that uncomfortable Sunday morning which was a little more than a month gone by.

"You know, I confess I have now come to understand the motives for your actions on the morning of March the First."

He was being so nonchalant that Penny was afraid to follow his train of thought. She cast a careful glance toward the living room to see Leonard, Howard and Raj absorbed in setting up the Xbox. She crossed her arms defensively and arched an eyebrow at him, waiting.

Sheldon glanced over at her and mistook her trepidation as ignorance. He licked his lips and rolled his eyes, attempting to keep the condescension to a minimum. He took a hold of her arm and gently tugged her over to the refrigerator and pointed at the small year-at-a-glance physics calendar that hung there, one long finger hovering around the last week in February.

"Look," he instructed proudly. She squinted at it in concentration. "Coupled with the unfortunate dating circumstances that you had found yourself in, your peculiar behavior that week easily stems from this point in your menstrual cycle."

"Sheldon-"

"See. I've been keeping track."

Sure enough, in small, meticulous printing - all over the calendar, not just February - were the accurate recordings of all her recent menstrual cycles including many minute details that even she never bothered to pay attention to. Penny's face went slack and her mouth dropped open a little. _Huh. Look at that_. She should be ovulating.

She gave herself a hard mental shake and tried desperately to ignore the fact that this information was displayed on her neighbor's refrigerator. She bit back any temper that was on the rise, and chewed on her lip. She could see Sheldon watching her out of the corner of her eye, expectantly, like an eager student.

"I did plenty of research to back this up. My hypothesis is valid," he reiterated, sensing her hesitation.

Penny cocked her head at him. His arrogance was actually endearing for once and she realized that she was more than happy to let him come to what ever conclusion he wanted to. Her answering smile seemed to relax him, and she patted his arm appreciatively.

"Aw, sweetie. That's very observant of you."

Before she made her way back into the living room, she caught him looking rather pleased with himself. As per his usual.

Penny sunk down in to the middle cushion of the sofa and waited to be handed a game controller, marveling at the powers of denial.

*

_to be concluded shortly...._


	5. Epilogue: Cosmic

**Chapter 5  
'Cosmic'**  
_an epilogue, set in the not-too-distant future_

* * *

It's a rainy evening in Pasadena, California, but as Sheldon holds the door open for Penny and they step out of the comic book store, the showers have drizzled to a stop. In the night sky, he can see Orion's Belt shining through the break in the clouds. M42 is particularly bright, even without binoculars.

She moves ahead of him, seeming to be in no hurry to reach her car, continuing their conversation that began in the new-release aisle forty-five minutes ago. Not a word of hers slips past him, yet his mind is preoccupied. It has been this way all day, yet the logistics of it continue to elude him.

There has been no deviation from any previous Wednesday that he is aware of. Despite this being her usual day off, Penny arrived at their apartment for coffee at approximately eight-o-five a.m. as she always has. Twenty-five minutes later he and Leonard departed for work. Because of Leonard's five o'clock time slot on the open science grid computer, it has become Penny's responsibility to pick him up, after which their normal routine currently consisted of stopping at the comic book store for New Comic Book Day. Then to Soup Plantation to pick up their dinner order. Then, home for Halo Night.

He can find no reason for his mood to be unsettled. The last time he felt like this...

He steps off the curb to follow her across the wet parking lot, her voice still drifting to him on the cold breeze as she continues her topical monologue.

And then the magnitude of it hits him. He's not sure if it is something she says or something she does - she is oblivious either way. But he finds that she does not need the knowledge of relativistic methodology or the inner workings of string network condensates to stop him in his tracks. The unsolved equation that has forever hovered over their mutual association seems to evaporate in the wet air before his eyes.

It is utterly brilliant in it's simplicity. He cannot believe he is seeing it for the first time...

*

Penny moves out into the parking lot, only half-heartedly patting for her car keys in the pocket of her jacket. With a smile, she realizes that it is a bit unusual for her to be doing so much of the talking. Ordinarily, Sheldon is an excited bundle of comic book facts when they leave the shop. He is quiet tonight.

She turns to look for him, hoping not to find him bestowing one of his superior, know-it-all expressions on her, but she is surprised. He _is_ staring at her, although not in the manner she expected.

His heavy black hooded sweatshirt is zipped up to the collar of his dark green polo shirt and he is clutching the strap of his messenger bag in earnest. He is standing stark-still, his blue eyes are large and dark pools. The only visible movement comes from a slight bob of his Adam's apple, and the damp breeze playing with his short, dark hair.

In anyone else, she would recognize that look immediately. Yet tonight, after all this time, she cannot allow herself to hope, much less acknowledge the sudden ache in her chest...

*

She hasn't done anything but stand there, her blonde hair half-haloed by the florescence of the comic book store, half by the streetlamp at her back. Her head is titled and she is smiling at him, questioning, and she is clutching one of his bags of new comics in one hand. She is beautiful. And she has no idea what she has just done to him.

He is only beginning to fathom it, himself. Yet, he possesses no equivocation as he walks to her ...

*

Her Keds have rooted themselves to the pavement, and she cannot budge as he moves slowly in her direction. As he gets closer and closer, she can see his hooded eyes are both determined and resolute. She shifts an errant strand of hair from her cheek as she attempts a long, anxious look up at him as he reaches her.

Without much hesitation, he timidly cups her face in his large hands...

...and kisses her.

**~fin~**

Now I have come to understand,  
The way it is,

It's not a secret anymore,  
'cause we've been through that before,

From tonight I know that you're the only one,  
I've been confused and in the dark,  
Now I understand.

I wonder why it is,  
I don't argue like this,  
With anyone but you,  
I wonder why it is,  
I won't let my guard down,  
For anyone but you  
We do it all the time,  
Blowing out my mind,  
Just like a star across my sky.

_-Corrine Bailey Rae 'Like a Star'_


End file.
